I’ve been looking deeply into the reasons people come and see me (as clients and students of Reiki) so I can offer a more potent, specific medicine to greet them with. It surprised me to distill the many reasons down into a single core motivation - to reconnect with the Self. When we are disconnected, this reflects to us through all of our relationships, through our mental health, our decisions, our habitual behaviours, and through our emotions. Our need to please and make others happy first. Our inability to speak up for ourselves. Our tolerance of unfulfilling roles that we feel obliged to play out. Our niggle that something isn’t right but we can’t quite put our finger on it. All of these little ways we betray ourselves become metal for the cage we place our truth in.
When people come to see me they are usually right on the verge, walking tenderly along this edge between what was and what will be. They are standing at the exit of the cage and wondering what might be on the other side. The unfamiliar has a way of being rather terrifying. The familiar is often a betrayal of the self in service to others. Why is this? We’ve been conditioned to place our value in how we serve others. Our self-worth hasn’t been nurtured. We’ve sought to find our worth from how the world perceives us. A great win for patriarchy has been this adopted pattern amongst most women. When our eyes open, we realise that we haven’t needed an other - we have needed the Self (with a capital S). What follows often is a mourning period. Deep reflection and illumination. Realisation and an invitation towards integration. On the other side of that exposed wounding, a new vow may be expressed. One to the Self, to the heart, to the deeper wisdom as the north star. The cage door is open. The question is, will we let our wild soul run free?
Can you relate to this, beauty? I share from having been there (I’m still there). I recognise these deeply ingrained patterns and my work here is to unravel them. I do this mostly with women who are just like me. I wonder how many of you reading this can resonate with living in service to others before serving yourself?
My life mission isn’t to teach Reiki. It’s not to connect others to some great cosmic force. It is to illuminate all the ways I have betrayed my own heart, and to come back home. My mission is The Return. The great return back to Self. This is how every heroic journey ends. First the hero departs her ordinary world into separation. She learns, she suffers, she grows wise. And then she goes home, able to offer her treasures to others. Reiki just happens to be my bridge in, my Guide out. The challenge is to express the truth of that mighty Self fearlessly and to face my true north again and again, no matter how dizzy others unconsciousness might make me. I return. And then I light a torch. I hold this torch as a reminder to myself, and it draws in others who have been lost as well. They light their torch and our flames join. The light we hold grows brighter. We are calling each other home with the light of our awareness. How bright the collective illumination shines for all who look to find it.
The lesson to embody is this: I am the guardian of the soul. I am the keeper of my energy. I am the mother to this body and the caretaker of this mind. My one and only is my heart.
